It wasn’t long before we settled down on the South Eastern slope.  My mother must have decided that it was safer to live withy my father’s temperament than to risk another encounter with the tigers or other monsters wandering just beyond our domain.

Life in my father’s domain fell into a pattern.  We were introduced to our aunts and half-siblings.  The favourite pastime of the whole pride was to laze around the grass patch, clean our hands and faces while gazing out at the sea and the shadows and silhouettes of some mystical magical mountains hovering on the horizon.

These were the abodes of the gods, my mother said.  How could you tell?  I wondered.  But my mother was certain.  Look, when the gods disagreed and fought amongst themselves, they hurled bolts of lightning at each other that flashed and streaked across the horizon.  When they were angry, their roars rumbled across the skies as thunder.  Those were my mother’s words.  I wondered.

And my father?  Most of the time, he slept on his rocky throne at the top of the clearing, lording over his pride.  When he was in a foul mood, everybody had to keep quiet so as not to disturb the peace.  On those occasions, Mark and I would sneak away to the clusters of flame trees a little distance down the hill.  There amongst the canopy of red and yellow flowers blazing in the sun we would lose ourselves in a world of our own where one did not need to watch the weather above the rocky throne.

Every day my mother set out on her hunt with the three of us in tow.  We watched her display of skills, prowess and speed.  Each time the prey struck back, whether it be a small goat with its horns or a fox with its fangs, my heart went out to my mother who had to work so hard to bring us the meat.  I wished I were big enough, strong enough to shoulder that burden.  But I was not.  I could only watch and grimace at my mother’s pain.  These sympathies however, did not stop my hunger.  So when my mother called, I pounced on the lifeless prey with as much relish as my siblings.

My father?  How shall I describe him?  He was a study in contrast.  While the rest of the pride – aunts, cousins and all – were out on the hunt, my father would laze away the day sprawled on his rocky throne, swishing his tail to flick the flies away, scratching the granite surface of the outcrop, contemplating its hieroglyphics, or gazing mistily across the sea at the shadows beyond.

Every so often, his ears pricked up.  He would lift his huge body slowly, like an ancient god awakened from his century-old slumber, walk deliberately to the edge of the clearing, wander amongst the flame trees and saunter back to his throne, satisfied.  When one of my aunts brought back the prize from a successful hunt, he would chase everyone away and sink the first bite into the fresh meat.  Only when he was satisfied did the rest of us dare fill our stomachs.

Once or twice I saw his ears prick up, he hesitated beside the red flame tree and, in a flash, he darted off.  Each time I was intrigued.  Where had he gone?  What had woken him from his slumber?  Each time my impatient wait around the rocky throne would be rewarded with the sight of his return, dragging a prize catch and leaving a long lonely trail of blood in its wake.  A huge bull.  Larger than any I had ever seen before.  Sufficient to feed the entire pride.  How did he do it?  Where did he find it?

‘Your father is a lazy one.  He lets others do the dirty work.  He hears the battle cries riding on the winds.  He dashes to the battle scene, chases away the victor and takes the victim for himself.’  That was my mother’s explanation.

‘That’s daylight robbery!’ I protested.

‘Robbery?’ my mother mused.  ‘In the jungle, everything belongs to the strongest.  Even life and death!’  She looked at me intently.  ‘You are destined for greatness.  It’s your birthright.  One day you will be strong and fearsome.  Like your father.  Then you will chase away the victor and take the victim for yourself too.’

‘No, I will not be like my father,’ I declared resolutely.  ‘I will be fair.  Look how he grabs the first bite of every piece of meat that you bring back – meat that you had to fight and bleed for!’

My mother strained her long feline neck backwards to take a long hard look at me.

‘We can go away from here,’ I pressed the point urgently.  ‘Just the four of us.  We don’t need him.’

My mother shook her head slowly and sighed.  She glanced at my father on his rocky throne, gazing sleepily out into sea, oblivious of the discontent seething below him.

‘You’re too young to understand,’ my mother finally replied.  ‘The world is an evil place.  There are too many enemies out there.  Who will protect us?’

She stretched her long limbs meaningfully in the grass.

‘Here, we are secure.  We have a home.  We are free.  Our enemies do not venture here to disturb us.  They know we have a king sitting on the rocky throne.’

I sank heavily into the grass and lowered my eyes.  All at once I felt so estranged from my mother and sister.  They were happy to frolic in my father’s land.  They were a family.  But my brother and I?  We wandered amongst the flame trees to ensure that we did not cross the path of my father.  We did not belong.

‘I know it’s hard for you,’ my mother said gently.  ‘Soon, it will get even harder.  One day, when you are old and strong enough, you will have to leave this kingdom to set up your own domain like your cousin did last year.  The alternative is to kill your father.’

I looked up at her sharply.  Was that what my mother wanted?  Was she waiting for me to drive my father from the world of the living?  But one look at my mother and the fire in my heart died.

‘Don’t be too hard on your father.’

My mother licked my ears to brush away the sand and soothe the growing pain in my heart.  I had always dreamed of leaving this domain.  But not this way.  Not all alone.  Not as an outcast, unloved and unwanted.

‘It’s a tough life for your father too,’ she continued.  ‘He has to defend his domain from the enemies.  He’s alone most of the time.  And he’s afraid of you.’

‘What?’ I sat up in surprise.  ‘Why would he be afraid of a little guy like me?’ I asked bitterly.

‘You will not be little forever.  You and your brother.  And your male cousins.  He will never know whether one or the other will try to usurp his throne and send him to the nether world.  So he’s on his guard all the time.  It’s tough enough for him to watch you and your cousins grow day by day in strength and in cunning, and to know that one day his generosity may be his doom.’

‘So what do you want me to do?’ I asked in despair.  ‘Do you want me to leave you and Vee?’

I felt a lump in my throat.  Would my mother betray my love and loyalty for the security of my father?  I could hardly bear to hear the answer.

She saw the anguish in my eyes.  She saw the pain in my soul.  And she saw that she was powerless.  She could not forestall the inevitable.  She could only make it a little less painful.

‘Let’s deal with that question when the time comes,’ she answered.  And that was that.  She looked away, rolled her head lazily and licked her lips absent-mindedly to indicate that the conversation was at an end.

I knew then my destiny.  And my destiny was not in this kingdom.  I thought of the cousin whom I had never met, the cousin whom my mother spoke of.  Perhaps he was wandering somewhere on the slopes of the hill to the North.  Perhaps he followed the river and disappeared into its misty world.  Or he might have crossed the river to battle with the tiger.

Somewhere out there was my destiny.  And I was seized with a fear.  A fear of the unknown.

L